Everytime I’m about to accomplish a goal, I get really scared.

A few months ago, I thought I was done with all of this. Mentally, I was in a bad place. After Covid took me out for over a month, I sank deep into depression. I felt unmotivated for the first time in two years. I felt as I have felt every time I knew I needed to quit my job. And believe me, I’ve quit a lot of jobs in my life. I had no idea what I was going to do next. My life has centered around macrame for the past several years. What else was there?

In the past, I would have quit without a plan. I’ve always made it work, even when no one else thought it was possible, I’ve always found a way to get by. This time was different though. I’ve never been self-employed before Vermont Macrame. I’ve never been in charge of every single aspect of my work, and job, and time, and life. And I’ve worked so. fucking. hard. To get to this point and then quit? Because why? Because I’m tired, depressed, getting over a virus, while simultaneously grieving the loss of my dad, and coexisting with this grief while running a handmade business which I share about on the internet? Is that really a reason to quit this?

No.

And so I went outside. I took a walk. I took a nap. I binge watched movies. I cooked food. Real food. I stopped macrame. I put down the phone. And eventually, I was ready to come back. I write to you now from my new studio and retail space in Arlington, VT. It’s Thanksgiving and I’m here sitting in the sunshine for a moment because it’s okay to take a moment for yourself on a holiday. And it’s okay to take a moment for yourself on a non-holiday.

I just cut all the rope to make hat hangers in every color I have: red, white, yellow, blue, orange, green. And now I’m sitting in a peacock chair, my boyfriend’s sister found it on the side of the road a few years ago and it’s never had a place to be itself until now. That’s a little how I feel about me. I’ve never had a place where I could be myself fully in all the ways, until now.

I hope you will come and see my space and sit here in the peacock chair and enjoy the sunshine in the winter and enjoy the plants too.