I am trying to slow down yet somehow I’m still in a rush.
It’s crazy how quickly time goes by. This year I’ve taken a lot of risks with this little company that we all call Vermont Macrame, and in turn I’ve taken a lot of risks with my heart. My plan for the winter was to take my macrame to warm places and sell it there. November, December, and January I found myself going to California where I started to do a few markets in Los Angeles. I thought I was ready to bring Vermont Macrame to the West Coast, so I brought literally all of my inventory there, and left it with someone I didn’t know very well to watch over it while I traveled to New Zealand for three weeks in February and March. I should say, I trust people too easily and I suppose that’s one of my fatal flaws. New Zealand has been stuck in my head and heart for five years since I was last there, both adventures were trips of a lifetime. I can’t even believe I’ve had the privelage to travel to such incredible places in my short time on this earth. I’m still not sure why I came home, except for my family, and my dog Maple, and to gear up for my new baby niece who will be arriving near the end of May. The crazy part of my New Zealand trip, which I do hope to share more of soon? The crazy part is that near the end of my trip, I found out that all the macrame that I had left in California, was stolen out of that person’s vehicle. It was devastating to hear this, because as you know, it’s a piece of my heart, and I never dreamed of such a thing happening. That’s where trust comes in. I have only got to trust that this happened for some reason, if nothing more than a learning lesson. The good news is that I came home so inspired and filled with creativity, and that I knowingly have some kind of way of turning my pain into tangible pieces you can hang up in your home or give as gifts to people you love and *trust.* I spent March and April at my mom’s house in New Jersey where I took over the room in which my dad spent his time before he left us for another realm. I filled that room with macrame and plants and disco ball sparkles, and it has been a great form of therapy and grieving for me to get to do that. I only wish he could have seen it. My mom has been lucky enough to witness my creative, chaotic mess and somehow still loves me. LOL. So friends, I just want to say, don’t just sit with your pain and grief. If you can, do something. Do anything. Live life and let it out, in whatever way you have to or want to. Travel the world. Take pictures. Let yourself laugh and spend time with the people you care about. Even if that means sitting in silence with them. Go out for ice cream or sit on the couch with your dog. Be free. Please. Allow yourself to feel what is inside, if nothing more.
This spring and summer and fall, I will see you in Vermont <3
